Leppimine/ Making up

Kui Sa oled kord olnud armunud, oled Sa alati armunud. Selles ei ole mitte midagi mõistlikku ega pinnapealset, nagu pole seda tormgi, mis lõhub ettekujutuse Sinust kui asjaolude ja oma elu kontrollijast. Mitte et Sa pole seda – vaid et seda ei ole võimalik välja mõelda. See teeb hulluks ja Sa oled hull iseeneses, sest armastus mida tunned ta vastu, on Su armastus iseenda vastu. Andestust ei ole olemas. Ära usu teda, kui ta palub Sult andestust. Ta ei ole teinud seda, mida ta arvab, et on teinud. Ta mõtles selle välja. Tegelikult ta tahab ainult leppida iseendaga, aga ta ei saa aru, et ta küsib seda Sinult. Sest tõeliselt on ta jätkuvalt armunud ja Sina peegeldad talle seda, mida ta keelab endale. Ja ka selle eest ta armastab sind – kuigi tegelikult ta muidugi teab, et on ka selle välja mõelnud. Sa oled ta kaitse, ta lootus ja ta hirm ja see on hirmuäratav roll, mille ta on Sulle andnud.

Ära pahanda temaga selle pärast, ega ka iseendaga, aga kui Sul sellest küll saab, siis tea, et ta armastab Sind ikkagi alati.

If You´ve been in love, You will always be in love. There´s nothing sane or superficial what comes to that, like there´s nothing sane and superficial about storm, that disrupts Your image about yourself like it´s You who creates circumstances and is the one who can handle everything. Not that it´s wrong- but You can´t make that up. It makes You mad and You´re mad in itself, because the love You feel for him/ her, is the love You feel for You. There is no forgiveness. Don´t believe him, if he asks for Your forgiveness. He made that up what he did to You. Cause in real he only wants to reconcile with itself, but he doesn´t understand that he asks that from You. Because in real he´s still in love and You reflect back to him what he still denies to itself. And he loves You also for this- though in real he knows that he has made also that up. You´re his aegis, his hope and his fear and it´s one hell of a fear-inspiring role he has given to You.

Don´t get angry with him nor with Yourself because of that, but once he has pushed you against the wall and you feel you´re done with him, never forget that he anyway keeps loving you.